Jump

I sit here with the leaves rustling, my mind and thoughts wrestling
I'm scared to let go and open up the floodgates
I'm petrified to reveal the real me
I don't even know who this me within portrays
I'm afraid to let the outside in
My selfishness yearns to keep them out,
to block them from the person they may not like
I shall set up bodyguards, bouncers if you will, to keep them out
They try to see what's all the commotion,
but I fight to black out their vision
I fight harder to reveal the real me
I want them to know
I want to know

Thoughts and emotions too deep to see
This mask burned onto my face
It hurts to remove this painted facade
But scrape I must to reveal the unadulterated girl
Pull
Tag
Stretch
Yank harder
I'm afraid to look past the mask
That's the me I've seen in the mirror for so long
Too long
Scrape it off
Or maybe I can pull it off like a band aid
One quick moment
One second in time
Pain shortlived, though piercing
And than it's all over and I can let the healing begin
I'm scared, but I'm ready
I want to be ready to remove this unnatural face
I desire to reveal the beauty within
It's time to take that leap into vulnerability
It's time to jump off the cliff
and be held in His tender arms
He'll catch me, my loving Father
He'll hold me until the wounds have healed
I'll see my face for the first time
And He'll see my face and whisper in my ear
"You are my Beloved
My creation
and I love you as you are..."
It's time
Here I go
3, 2, 1

Written July 8, 2008