Taking the Scenic Road

She hopped into the passenger seat
and buckled up because she knew it was going to be a long ride
He didn't lead her through the dark and boring
He wanted to take her on an exciting ride
The ride of her life

She wasn't sure where they were going
or what stops they would take along this trip
Sometimes the sun would kiss her cheeks
Sometimes the rain would fall ever so slightly on the two travelers
Sometims it would pour so hard that all they could see was the bright light before them
Sometimes the fog was so thick they couldn't see the end of the car

The fog scared her the most
Not knowing where they were going
Not knowing what was ahead
Questions upon questions
Clouds upon clouds
The fog enveloped the car
and scared her stiff

But the Driver always know where He is going
He knows every turn, every bump in the road, every turnout
He knows how to maneuver the vehicle through the rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog
He knows exactly where He is taking her
He knows every mile
But He doesn't utter a word because He doesn't want to ruin the surpirse

He wanted to take her on The Scenic Road
Though it's longer, it's more beautiful out there
The sun is brighter, the air crisper, the water breathtaking
All she has to do is sit back, relax, and trust the Driver
He will never get lost; He'll never make mistakes
He's the Driver and He owns the road
Especially this one.

Epiphany

It just sounds cooler than "big realization" or "some big thought" or "something major that hit me like a ton of bricks." I like to sound edumacated every once in a while so I shall use the word "Epiphany."

Yes, while driving home from Krikorian Theater today, I experienced one. It just hit me: Bam! Now, I know that God can still change things if he wants to, but it just doesn't seem like I'm going to be leaving next year. hmm...I still have much praying, thinking, reading, meditating, praying, ruminating, and more praying to do..but...Some circumstances in my life are hemming me in and limiting my actions. And NO..it doesn't involve a guy. I know God is in control, but when it hit me..Bam...I got sad. I'm not leaving...??? I still don't know what God has in store, but I know I need to trust Him. So many questions..but through it all I pray that I can still smile.

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

God IS good...even when my future is filled with uncertainties...and I smile. =)

Auntie Nee!

Yay..Praise God I'm an auntie to a beautiful little (and I mean little!!) baby girl! I keep forgetting to bring my camera when I see her, so the only pictures I have are on my phone. I shall post some soon enough.

Sabrina Hannah Barrett
5 pounds 6 ounces
So much hair!
Monster hands...for her tiny body.
She has a cute little dimple.
Lot's of lovin...

Home Owner

It seems like everyone's buying a house. Guess what? I'm a homeowner too! Promise! haha..what a great investment! And I don't even have to move out of my room. God is good!

In other areas of my life...still big ??????s but I'm trusting God and I praise Him for the change of heart and mind. I'm amazed at how easily He can change things and make me realize how silly and superficial some things are. I know I sound quite general, but I'm not really up to posting my life's story here...ironic, isn't it? Yet, through all the ????? and ................. (elipsises, not periods) I can still smile and know God is in charge. Yes, God is in charge.

Being a girl...

stinks sometimes because we over analyze things and we get excited over the smallest things. argh...But, praise God for helping us be discerning towards various situations. Praise God I can trust Him through all the ?????? in my life, and let me tell you...there are many. I'm excited for when the ??? turn into !!!! or even ..... but through all the punctuations in life, I rest in God's sovereignty and try to humble myself by casting my cares on him because He cares for me.

One day at at time...that's what I'm working on...Going through lifes' punctuations on day at a time. =)

God Closes Doors

Unfortunately, we are unable to be flexible about the upper age limit for the Road to Reality internship, because there is already such a wide age span between 18 and 25 that we had to draw the line somewhere. Since interns live, study and travel to India together, a sense of commonality is critical. At 26, you'd be older than the house mother! Also, your level of maturity at 26 is vastly different from someone right out of high school, as well as the issues that you face.

But He definitely opens other ones...and I still smile...

Sprinkles...

No, I'm not talking about the sprinkles you put on frosting..I'm talking about the ones that come right before God (possibly) showers you with blessings. I'm experiencing some of that lately and I definitely praise the Lord and look forward to His will continue to unfold in my life. The skies may clear again, or it may pour down...good, sweet-smelling rain. I love the smell of the new springs rains...it makes me smile.

Ready to Fly

I've been here grounded far too long
I'm ready to see the open wide
Ready to sing a different song
I've seen my troubles 'long the way
I want to sail towards the sun
I want to turn another page
I'm on my way

I'm ready to fly,
I'm ready to soar
I'm ready to leave this world behind.
I'm ready to open up the door
I'm ready to fly,
I'm ready to spread my wings across the sky
I think it's time
I'm ready to go
I'm ready to fly.

You've told me I could rise above
Like an eagle on the wind
I can glide upon Your love
But I feel the pull of gravity
And it's a weight upon my shoulders
i can't stay here any longer
I've gotta be free

And it's been so long
Since i've seen the bright morning sun
Through the early morning horizon
And it's been so long
Since i've felt the air under my wings
And seen all of these things from above

*FFH

Waiting Game

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

I praise God for this verse. God has used these words to help me through many trying times. It's such an awesome reminder that God's plans will stand. You see, I'm such a planner and I want things to happen NOW. But, right now He's having me wait. I've been waiting quite a bit lately...for many different things. I know that in God's perfect plan, and according to His perfect time, it will happen if that's His will.

I'm particularly waiting for an email for a Christian organization I've been praying for. I went on thier website and read about this internship program they have. It sounds like a great opportunity to serve elsewhere, but there's only one catch. I'm a bit too old to apply. I've emailed they to see if they would still consider me even though I'm one year older than the restrictions state.

I've been checking me email every day and waiting for thier reply. It's been about a week and I haven't heard anything yet. I see myself getting impatient, but I know I must wait. I'm growing impatient about going; I need to be still and continue praying earnestly for the Lord to reveal His will. I can't wait for HIm to uproot me and direct my stumbling feet. So here I sit, waiting, and still smiling...

Mr. Elliot

"God, I pray Thee, light these idle sticks of my life and may I burn for Thee. Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life, but a full one, like You, Lord Jesus." - Jim Elliot

"I am ready to die for the salvation of the {lost}."

God has been affirming His plan and this desire for me to go. I spoke to two people today about this decision. Mr. and Mrs. Neal are two loving and God-fearing workers for the Lord. They don't want me to go, but they say this only jokingly because they selfishly want me to stay one more year and teach thier daughter who will be graduating next year. We spoke. We prayed. I know God listened and head my cry. He always hears my cries. Mr. Elliot's prayer above is my prayer for the moment. I pray that the Lord would continue to burn this passion in me and cause me to move, cause me to make noises that will echo out into eternity. I know that life is but a vapor and I don't want to ever look back and have any regrets: I should have gone. Why didn't I go? Why did I wait? What was I waiting for? Now it's too late...

I want to live every day of my life for His glory with passion, zeal, and fervor. I know I can't wait, I shouldn't wait, until I'm in a dfferent, foreign land. This needs to be my life now. Today I must be a living sacrifice. Today I must shine for Him. Today I must tell others of Jesus. Today I will smile and thank God for His goodness and perfect plan.

Praying for Rain

I'm praying that God would bring rain soon. Next year. Next year. I'm praying and will continue to pray until the Lord showers His wonderful drops of direction on my head. I absolutely love my family, my friends, my kiddies...but there's gotta be more to life. I've had a desire to go. I've been wanting to break free of this So Cal lifestyle, this short-lived bubble for so long. I think now's the best time than ever. No attachments. Nothing holding me back. I want a change. I want to change. Rain please come. Lord, please, if it's your will open the doors of heaven and let it flood. Shower. Pour. Lord, I want to go. If it's your will, please send me. I'm excited. I really am quite excited for where the Lord is going to lead me. I'm going to keep on praying, but I have this urge, this feeling, this..this excitement that things are going to be different. I'm going to continue to prepare for the rain. Applications will be filled out and mailed. Websites will be visited. Studying will be done. Prayers will be sent. Prayers will be answered and, Lord willing, I will be sent. Next year. Let the rains come..and when they fall, I will smile,